skiing with grade 9: the delight and horror in 4 parts

the grade 9 class trip traditionally has been a ski trip to italy (no biggie...). which, granted, is an incredible opportunity, a huge privilege. totes magoats.  but, make no mistake - that's:
nonstop 
7 days and 6 nights
with 60 pubescent teenagers

the first (and only) time i chaperoned this trip was when my homeroom got to be in grade 9.

PART 1:

the trip was BEAUTIFUL. i had never down-hill-skied before. so i got to take lessons with the beginner students and actually got to be pretty decent (if i may say so myself).

in the mornings we'd take the bus out to the slopes, everyone would break into their ski groups, by ability level, spend the morning with the respective instructors, have lunch, do another two hours with the instructor and group, and then roam free in groups of at least three, skiing socially.

it was the last day of skiing - the last hour of the last day skiing. our bus back to berlin was the next morning at 10am. and as i'm making my way down the last slope for the day with my colleagues - we get a call from the students and see a helicopter landing not far from us...

two of our boys - experienced skiers, one from my homeroom - were going down a black diamond, competing. and, they collided and both lost consciousness. one, whose condition was deemed less severe, was taken down the mountain by snowmobile and to the nearest hospital. the other, whose helmet fell apart from impact, was helicoptered to a hospital with better facilities, a bit farther away. and there isn't enough room for even one of us to get into the helicopter with the boy.

the chaperones and i discuss how to proceed, and who should do what - i volunteer to head to the far-away hospital and be the one to stay behind the next day (everyone else had families, pets, responsibilities to get back to; for me at the time was just Netflix). this way i can make sure the boy isn't alone when he comes to, i can get in touch with and wait for his mom to arrive, and to be an 'adult' whom doctors can speak to as necessary with updates in the meantime.

PART 2:
i arrive at the ER. now, that's obvi a stressful experience for anyone under any circumstances. and i'm lucky and grateful that (spoiler alert) everything turned out fine with no (health) complications. however, filling out ER papers a) in a foreign country, in b) a non-native language, for c) a child, who d) is not your own is like anxiety to the nth degree... but went through the kid's wallet - found his ID and health insurance info i had on file from the school. done and done.

i spend the night on a cot in the boy's hospital room (obv, the stress and discomfort equals close to zero actual sleeping). by morning, great news - he seems to be fine, they're just doing some additional tests and scans to confirm no internal bleeding or organ/ brain damage. (The other boy, incidentally, was also fine
and already released the night before - was able to take the bus back to berlin with the rest of the kids in the morning). my principal books me a flight back to berlin for the afternoon, for just a few hours before the boy's mom is to arrive. i get the boy a teddy-bear, we hang out, we joke, he seems in good spirits, i assure him his mom will arrive shortly after i leave. bye. bye, see you in berlin.

PART 3:
i wait at the airport. the flight seems delayed. delayed some more. and then some more. until it's canceled altogether for the rest of the day. in fact, all incoming and outgoing flights are canceled for that town - so, not only i can't leave, the mom can't get into town either. principal: ok, no big deal - book two rooms in a hotel (one for me, one for the boy and his mother for when she arrives by train). i'll fly out the next day. it's annoying, but whatever - the folks at the airport are helping to book rooms for those who are stuck in town. it's a tiny airport, cause it's a tiny resort town, which is mostly a fancy hospital and a bunch of hotels. so, the rooms are booked for me. a cab is called for me to take me there. i check in, drop off my stuff, and get in another cab to go back to the hospital - make sure i'm there for when the boy is ready to be checked out.

as i said before - he's all good and EXTREMELY lucky. so we start leaving the hospital, and i realize that once we get in a cab, i have NO idea where to go. the hotel was booked for me - i have no phone number to look back on. the hotel room key (actual physical key) has a key chain that's just a wood block. no address. no name. zero reference point. all the convenience of someone else doing these things for me - and no record of my own. i can't show panic - this kid's been through hell. i can't tell him what the problem is - i'm the 'adult', i'm supposed to have made accommodating arrangements. but at this point, i'm tired, i'm frustrated, my hands are shaking, i'm defo freaking out and having a hard time keeping it together (on the inside, on the inside).

the only thing i can remember is that the check-in desk at the hotel was directly adjacent to the dining hall, which had these ugly lavender tablecloths... so i start google-image-ing
*town name* + hotel + purple tablecloth

PART 4:
you can imagine it takes more than a few trial-and-error phone calls in a non-native language to hotels in a resort town with "hi, i just checked in about an hour ago, just wanted to confirm the address... oh, no? how silly of me, my mistake!" before i get to the correct one. to top it off, my phone plan has a shitty WiFi plan for abroad usage, so i have to keep purchasing more data every few google-searches...

but we get there. i get the confused tired kid in a cab. let's get the ef out of this place, m'dude.

i ask the boy if he's hungry - he says no, just wants to wait for his mom, who should be arriving later in the night. so, he goes to his room. i sit down in the dining hall, with the stupid fucking memorable lavender tablecloths. down a bottle of red wine, putting salad in my face (with my hands) and ugly nervous-cry like a champ.

camping with grade 6

my grandma, my professional colleague 5 decades removed, has always told me that i should keep a record of all the goofy experiences which come with being a teacher - especially a teacher of younger grades - because you always think you'll remember it all, but don't.

...

in my fourth year teaching i moved to berlin and taught 6th grade for the first time (~11 year olds). in addition to teaching math i was also assigned a grade 6 homeroom. this means that in addition to meeting for five math lessons a week, this group of 24 kids and i met for two more lessons to work on organization, discuss social issues, and to generally work on the transition into the secondary school. this group of students would be my homeroom for the next 5 years. they are now in 11th grade....

at the end of grade 6 there is a weeklong "camping" trip with outward bound, in the middle of nowhere with accommodations in a CASTLE (really roughing it...),  for team building and what-not. the first time i went on on this trip to chaperone was with my grade 6 homeroom.

the days are filled with hikes, team challenges, games, etc... and on the last evening the students get to organize a disco, dress up, finally have access to all the sweets they brought with them but which were confiscated on the way to camp - and to just hang out with each other. in a CASTLE.

so, i'm standing in one of the halls as a kid plays the grand piano and a few other students are hanging around listening - and one of my students runs up to me, nearly hyperventilating (a signature of hers, i would quickly discover)

E: msK, lilly is stuck in the tree!!
me: what do you mean?
E: she's climbed all the way to the top of the tree and won't come down! i'm very scared!
me: ok, slow down. will you show me where the tree is? why did she climb so far up?
E: we got into an argument and she got upset and started climbing a tee! there it is!

we approach the tree.
there is no kid in the tree.
there is, however, a child's dress hanging off of a branch and a pair of shoes on the ground below it.

this child literally jumped out of her clothes. and ran away.

me: did anybody see where she went?
E: no! i'm so scared!
me: i know, but there's nothing to worry about. thank you for finding me. you can go inside, i'll find lilly.

so i grabbed the clothes and wandered around the property until i finally found this tiny creature sitting on the forest ground, hugging her knees in nothing but her underoos.

me: ...hey, kiddo, how are you doing? ...i think these are yours... ...do you wan'em?

PERIOD, PERIOD.

well, ladles and jelly spoons, this one's not about punctuation.

rather, there have been a lot of others' blogs, reviews, and openness out there in cyberspace which have greatly helped reshape and evolve my perspectives and experiences on this topic, so i thought maybe someone out there would find a nugget of info here that's somehow helpful or informative.

on birth control (pills and iud)

i have been on some kind of birth control pretty much nonstop since i was seventeen. most of the past 13 years that's been birth control pills. my university student health insurance covered name brand ortho tri-cyclen lo, then teacher's health insurance covered an off-brand version of it (which gave me migraines), and then a third try once i moved to berlin offered me a similar cocktail (which also gave me migraines).

three years ago i decided i didn't want to mess with my hormonal balance anymore. shots and patches also weirded me out. while it's super appealing to only have your period a few times a year - our bodies need to do this thing every month. the human body is an insane unlikely construction already. i feel like asking it to be ok with only 4 periods a year is pushing my luck a little and saying 'thanks but no thanks'. so, i'm pretty grateful for the regular automatic room service that takes place.

but i'm also not looking to have children at the moment, nor am i interested in abstinence or trust my ability to monitor my ovulation.

so, 2 years ago i decided on a copper iud. for the most part i am very happy with it:

• it is a minimally invasive 3 minute procedure to 'install' by your obgyn
• it's active for up to 5 years
• can be easily and quickly removed (also by your obgyn) at any time (like if you change your mind)
• the copper version does not use hormones, so no migraines for me!
• i don't have to think about it on a daily or weekly basis
• my body goes through a pretty regular monthly routine

however, the not insignificant downsides (for me) are

• worse cramps
• longer periods

so far, for me the pros have outweighed the cons. but, make no mistake - i've got my eye on the evolution of male birth control.

on feminine hygiene (menstrual cup and period panties) 

i've been trying to pay a bit more attention to what my impact on this planet is. and, i don't mean "how can i leave a beautiful legacy behind?" i mean "as one of billions of leeches on this generous earth,  how can i minimize my shitty human impact on it?"

one of the things i'd read and heard a lot about was the horrible environmental impact of feminine hygiene products.  and, if you're like me, it's impossible not to feel minuscule when confronted with the data on pollution caused by humans. but, i think, too often the proposals made for waste reduction are too absolute to be sustainable for most people's daily lives. and, as result, it's tough to commit to and we continue do what we normally do.

as such, i've started to try and think about my role as "what can i do less/more of..." rather than "what should i stop completely/start doing always" - and i think that's helped me to ultimately be more consistent in my efforts.

to that effect, i have found an approach and balance that works for me in dealing with aunt flo:

menstrual cup

i won't lie, i was very apprehensive at first. in case this technology is new for you - it's exactly what it sounds like.

i did a lot of research about what's on the market, what the strengths and weaknesses are of different brands, and decided to try the lunette. i figured - worst case scenario is it'll be terrible and i wasted 40 bucks.

i decided to do a trial run at home over the weekend - to avoid potential disasters in public.

and, to be frank:

• you can't be grossed out to get your hands a little messy
• inserting took some trial and error
• as did removal

however, i was wicked impressed. here are the deets:

• it's efficient - generally requires attention 1-2 times a day
• it saves you A LOT of money in the long-run (if you're happy with it, it lasts 1-3 years or more)
• it's much nicer for the planet (and for plumbing for those of you weirdos who insist on flushing tampons!)
• the bathroom doesn't smell of disposed used products

also, here's a fun chart i found comparing 'consumption'/use of the three products:

image cred (modabit.com)

so, once you figure out a way that works for you, the cup is crazy easy - you put it in in the morning and remove it any time you have convenient private access to a toilet and sink. i made sure to triple-check about this, and removal once a day is perfectly healthy (up to 12 hours!).

period panties

paranoid as i am, i found i still liked to have panty-liners. and, truth be told, i was often grateful for the extra precaution, as i'm still not 100% consistent with how well i'm positioning the cup. so, i decided to try out the THINX panties ($24-$39 each, depending on the style). i'd seen adverts for them and explored their website. for those of you not familiar with this technology - i have no explanation for how it works other than it's magic.

i have been trial-running two pairs (the hiphugger and hi-waist) in concert with the cup - and with this duet i have been able to almost completely eliminate the use of any disposable feminine hygiene products. i have to say - color this skeptic impressed.

now, i wasn't prepared to splurge on a full cycle's worth of ~$35 panties, so i've been hand washing immediately after use and drying over night each pair (which is what they encourage you to do anyway), and that's been working well while i'm in a normal home/work routine.

all that said, as someone often on trips with little privacy on public transport, i also reserve a few spare tampons and panty-liners where clean hands are more difficult to arrange.

but in the meantime, please enjoy the following:

LANGUAGING AND CONFERENCING

this is my 9th year teaching and i've had my ups and downs throughout. i've always thoroughly loved my job and constantly feel like i'm learning new things.

i started out at a public school in nyc. 21 at the time, i went through the nyctf program and jumped into a grade 10 geometry classroom with absolutely no experience in a) teaching b) classroom management and c) adulting. though, arguments *could* be made (sort of) for why programs like nyctf and tfa should exist, in no uncertain terms - i had absolutely no right pretending to be Teacher to the humans merely 4-5 years my junior. i left that job after 3 years (when i moved to berlin) and, objectively, i learned far more from my students and experiences with them (and the dumpsterfire that is the DoE) than i could ever hope to have shared with them in return. in fact, i'm confident that the most impressive thing i offered was simply being there for three consecutive school years. i'm forever grateful to those students and their patience.

though my heart is in public education, once in berlin, the only context in which i could teach was in an international school. my german's fine, but speaking it is not quite the same as explaining math in it (the irony of this will follow shortly). the last 6 years at this school have offered me a tremendous opportunity to grow professionally. this is where i would teach middle school for the first time, evolve my love of math, chaperone class trips to belgium, outward bound, and skiing in italy (more on those another time), take on the role of IGCSE exams coordinantor (more on that another time, too), and now also the role of bilingual curriculum leader for math. which brings me to the irony of having sought out this school to teach in english.

since about two years ago our school (in its conception a learning space for children in berlin for whom joining the german school system doesn't make any sense, i.e. children of diplomats moving every few years and families who have one or both legs in international business) has been required to teach partially in german. the part that the berlin senat is most particular about is math. namely, we're supposed to offer 40% of math instruction time (on average within a given school year) in german.

now, theoretically, it's sensible to require some instruction time in german if we are to require students to sit the berlin state standardized exams, which include math in german.

HOWEVER!
! juggling two languages
! for instruction of a core subject
! which students are already socialized to fear
! within a single school year
makes no pedagogical sense...

...it is confusing for students changing language within a lesson, especially with a non-native german speaker as the teacher (that would be me...).

if two teachers are teaching (two lessons in german by german native, three in english by english native) it is virtually impossible to offer fluidity in lesson content and assessment - as there's really no time to collaborate to that extent from day to day.

we've tried a million other variations and ideas which i can outline upon request, but the bottom line is - the decision of the arbitrary 40% within a school year was political, not pedagogical.

so, now we're trying to figure out a) who we are as a school b) how will we practically offer the german math instruction, and c) how can we implement these changes in a way that enhances (at best) and doesn't disrupt and damage (at worst) the students' learning while d) accepting that teachers are humans, not robots. hence, bilingual curriculum leader needs... so that's my third hat at the school this year.

the problem, of course, is that i'm not a linguist. it's commonly said in schools that "all teachers are language teachers". which sounds great, but there's a reason language acquisition teachers have a completely different degree (or are supposed to, anyway) from just language teachers. much less, non-language teachers...

don't get me wrong, i love language. in most ways, i grew up bilingually (first russian-german, then russian-english), moving between countries and schools five times before grade 7.  and i'm fascinated by the lens language creates for our perception of the world around us. i empathize with kids learning subjects like math, science, and history in a second or third non-native language and how frustrating it is to know you're good at something but not being able to show it because you can't access the required content.

i distinctly remember crying in kindergarten my first time in an american school at 5, where russian was no good, german was no good, it was supposed to be english (didn't know it yet), and there was a lesson of french going on...

i also remember hating being stuck in ESL in 7th grade when back in the US a second time, the stigma attached to not attending 'normal' english classes, and the pride with which i finally joined them sometime in 8th grade...

anyway, this week i'm in copenhagen for an ECIS conference (Educational Collaborative for International Schools) on english as a native and non-native language. it's gonna be a boatload of lectures, workshops, and discussions about language acquisition with some really great colleagues and i'm really excited. 

A START

i've decided to start a blog on the interwebs clouded with billions of others similar to or way better than this, which likely few-to-none will read.

however, here's the justification (for myself):

• taking time to reflect and articulate with some amount of discipline
• having a record of some of my moments, to see how/if i'm growing as a humanoid
• being open about my where- and do-abouts in a way that many digi-souls have done for me over the years

some of the things i know i'll write about are

• playing games
• trying to be a better teacher
• eating
• visiting places and running around
• making things and looking at other things
• math
• people who are boss

hopefully i'm more resolute with this than i am with my gym membership.

the current background of this page, by the way, is the art of one boss person, martin krzywinski, who among many things, creates incredible artistic visualizations of pi.